Business, Entrepreneurship

Three Things I Learned from Hiring My Dad

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Let me tell you a story: It was 2008 and my company had grown to a $10 million business. I was in desperate need of a COO to lead daily operations. I was running on all cylinders, trying to lead company strategy, manage client relationships, and still have a daily presence in the office. It wasn’t working–I was close to burning out.

I knew that finding a COO who I could trust was the solution. And the first person who came to mind for this role was my dad. As an entrepreneur himself, he had been serving as a mentor to me for years.

But, of course, the last thing I wanted to do was hire my dad. Why? I was afraid. I was afraid that my employees and customers would think that I was asking him to come save the day. I was afraid it would be seen as a sign of weakness. I was afraid my employees would accuse me of nepotism.

I interviewed a number of people, and nobody seemed like a good fit, because no one knew me and my business like my dad. Finally, I decided to go with my gut and offer my dad the job. With a little convincing, he agreed to come out of retirement and accept the role.

He’s now been my COO for six years and has helped me double the size of my company.

What did this experience teach me?

Great leaders aren’t good at everything, but they’re good at knowing what they’re good at. And building the right team is all about knowing what you’re good at, where you need help, and who you need and want to help you.

It’s ok to hire people you like. In fact, it’s essential..Human beings are social creatures, and there’s no shame in wanting to work with people that you have fun with. Most of us will spend more time with the people we work with than our own families! So why not surround yourself with people who are genuinely compatible with you and your business? You should hire people who inspire you, make you laugh. embrace your company values, and share a similar work ethic.

Don’t be afraid to hire like a woman. Many women that I’ve worked with are sometimes hesitant to consider these types of characteristics when they’re hiring, thinking it makes them look frivolous or picky. But this “feminine style” of hiring is actually becoming more mainstream—because it works. We see more and more companies using terms like “culture fit” and “soft skills” and “intangibles” and these are all really things that many female leaders have been focusing on for a long time.

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Business, Entrepreneurship

Six things I learned After Witnessing a Legendary Man Tantrum

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I was 23 years old, in the midst of negotiating my 2nd large-sale contract. It was a $5 million government contract that would transform the trajectory of my life and business forever. Yeah, you could say I was nervous. I’d started this company four years earlier (at 19!) with the mentorship of my father, but I still felt like a novice.

Across my desk was the President of the company we were partnering with, let’s call him Bob. We needed Bob because his company was an expert on the awarding agency’s work requirement — in fact his company had been working there for the past 5 years. No one was better qualified than he. But my company—K4 Solutions—was chosen to be the lead contractor, so Bob needed me too.

We were reluctant bedmates.

I knew this contract would quadruple the size of my company. But still I couldn’t fully comprehend the scale and impact — and I definitely didn’t have any experience negotiating contract terms like this. Bob —in his 60s, an industry veteran leading a company close to $50 million in revenue—clearly did.

Before I could settle in, Bob quickly overtook the conversation. He began arguing over a few clauses our lawyers had been going over – first, inconsequential legalese like whether communication via email would be ‘recognized’ by law…was he just trying to intimidate me? But then more critical clauses – like percentage split of work-share and profit share.

Thrown off and aggravated by his tone and by his barrage of requests, I tried to remind myself that I knew what I was doing. I knew exactly what other companies my size had negotiated in situations like this.  He thinks you’re a pushover, I said to myself.

In what I thought was a calm, polite voice, I voiced my truth — “Sorry, we won’t be able to do that.”

His face turned red as he started shouting, “We simply cannot work with you, then, if you are going to operate like this.” He paused, looked around my office, and said, “Where’s your Dad, anyway? Isn’t he here to negotiate with? I don’t know what I’m doing sitting here with you…you must be what, my daughter’s age? 26”?

Twenty-three, actually. And old enough to understand that I was being disrespected.

I looked at him and said, “Ok, I think you’re overreacting here.”

He looked at me, eyes wide, and screamed, “I’M OVERREACTING???!!!”

He threw a stack of papers up in the air, like a pissed off character in a comic strip. I was shocked, but I remained composed as he went on a tirade about how ridiculous my requests were.

I had a few options at this moment. I had my own stack of papers to throw, and I could yell back at him with the same fervor. I could walk out of the room, call my dad, and have him finish the negotiation. Or, I could kill the whole contract.

I summoned the strength to remain seated while he stormed around the room. I’m pretty sure I was sweating and shaking, but when he paused nearly out of breath from his tantrum, I said, “Can we get back to the contract now?” I knew I had no other choice; I was willing to make the best of the situation.

It was as if my calmness had broken a spell. My commitment to moving forward despite his behavior was more powerful than his tantrum. He sat back down and we continued the negotiation.

So, what did his man tantrum (or “mantrum,” as I now affectionately refer to it) teach me?

 

  1. Money spent on a good attorney is always money well spent. That being said…

 

  1. It’s not smart to “leave things to the lawyers.” Instead, I empowered myself to understand the legalese and get behind the logic. And it paid off.

 

  1. Learning through experience is the most immediate (and most fun!) type of learning. Just because I haven’t done something before, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it now, and doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it alone! As an entrepreneur, we’re constantly throwing ourselves into the deep end alone. Get used to it and have fun with it!

 

  1. Having confidence in my own self automatically and naturally gives other people confidence in me. (duh!) You don’t need “secret sauce” to be taken seriously, you just need to take yourself seriously.

 

5. I’m not always going to work with people I like, though I may try to most of the times. And that’s OK.

 

  1. I am enough. I learned that I had to stop measuring myself against others, and accept that I am good enough, smart enough, capable enough, , successful enough to achieve anything I want to achieve.

 

And so are you.

 

 

 

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Business

How to Make 2015 Your Best Year Yet

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“What are you, my daughter’s age?”

I clearly remember not being taken seriously. I was an engineer with a few years of experience under my belt, trying to fight my way to entrepreneurial success in a field dominated by older men. It would have been easy to allow this kind of disrespect to knock me down, but luckily, I had something that helped me bounce back after each punch: a vision.

There are now more women entrepreneurs than ever. Although the odds aren’t always in our favor, we have the opportunity to step up, take our businesses to the next level, and be role models for future women entrepreneurs.

When it comes to accomplishing that, nothing will serve you better than remaining committed to your vision and developing a solid plan for the upcoming year. When I sit down to plan each business year, I hold onto the wisdom of Ronald Reagan’s words: “To grasp and hold a vision — that is the very essence of successful leadership — not only on the movie set where I learned it, but everywhere.”

Continue reading on Forbes. 

 

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Business, Entrepreneurship

How to Leverage Boardroom Diversity for Greater Success

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This is the second installment of my column for Entrepreneur.

Freedom of speech is awarded all Americans, but having the confidence to voice their opinions is another matter — especially for women in the workplace.

This year, the term “bossy” came under fire as prominent women, including Beyoncé and former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, teamed up behind Sheryl Sandberg’s “Ban Bossy” campaign to remove the word from everyday use and promote female leadership.

This movement also points to larger institutional structures that can suppress female voices. Many companies don’t promote open communication, and some executives fail to consider women’s needs, creating a gender gap in boardrooms.

Continue reading on Entrepreneur. 

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Business, Entrepreneurship

What to Do When Your Employees Aren’t Living Up to Expectations

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It’s easy to become frustrated when it seems employees don’t listen. But it falls to the leader to figure out how to get staff fully on board with the company’s plan.

I’m the first to admit I can be impatient or unclear at times. Sometimes what I say to others doesn’t really match what I’m thinking — or what I think I’ve said. I think fast and talk fast, and details can become lost in translation. Recently, I found myself yelling at my phone — with no one on the other end — when I received a question via text about something I thought I’d explained three times before.

Instead of becoming angry, try to discover what went wrong and take these steps to become a better and more respected leader.

Continue reading on Entrepreneur.

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Business

Three Hard Conversations You’ll Have As A Female Leader

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There are few things more uncomfortable than having the “you’re fired” conversation — except maybe having that conversation when you’re one of the most prominent corporate leaders in America.

Earlier this year, Marissa Mayer attracted a lot of media attention when she fired COO Henrique de Castro – her first major hire as  CEO. Some pundits were outraged by the millions in severance he walked away with, while others began speculating about how much longer Mayer would be at the helm.

For female leaders, it’s imperative that we don’t let the opinions or perceptions of others affect our decisions. Having the confidence for hard conversations is often what builds our platforms for success.

Here are some strategies to help address a few difficult discussions.

Continue reading on Forbes.

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Business, Femininity

Trampling gender stereotypes

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This article was originally published in Women 2.0

How to show the world — and the board room — you’re not a stereotype.

The list of stereotypes women face in the business world is long and frustrating — if not outright infuriating. Women have spent decades trying to be taken seriously by people in power (mostly by acting more like men). We’ve dressed older and more traditionally, followed football to keep up with banter and made sure we’re noticed for our brains and abilities rather than our looks.

While there’s still a big gap between men’s and women’s wages, our female predecessors have made huge strides toward achieving professional equality. This has brought us to a new era where we can have a massive impact on the world while honoring our feminine power.

Own Your Femininity

At a conference, you’re meeting people for the first time — many who may have preconceived notions about female entrepreneurs. Make the most of this opportunity to demonstrate immediately that you are not a stereotype. Here are several ways to confidently establish who you are:
Honor your femininity. In our efforts to compete and fit in with men, we’ve given up our femininity. But there is power in the feminine. So show up in that gorgeous dress. Wear that flower in your hair. Speak in the way that is most natural to you. This is not about using your feminine wiles to manipulate; it’s about being authentic.

Continually grow. Make sure you’re at the top of your game. Make it a priority to stay informed, and prepare before the conference. Take the time to read and educate yourself.
Stand your ground. Brené Brown said, “Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.” There is more to life than we can see, and women often perceive situations differently than men. Don’t hold back your opinions. Speak up! Honor your intuition, and always present your views with confidence.

Discuss ideas instead of gossip. Rise above petty gossip, and be the person who elevates the conversation. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” Embrace judgments and criticisms. When people feel the need to judge or criticize you, know you’re making an impact on them, and it’s making them uncomfortable. This is progress. You are being heard.

How I Changed My Mindset

It isn’t easy to ignore criticism or stand up for your beliefs when you’re the minority. Authenticity takes courage, but it always makes you more powerful. I used to show up to meetings at 24 years old in a very traditional suit and my ready-to-work face on. I was trying a little too hard. And it was likely that people could tell. Once, I showed up to a boardroom full of men and decided to wear a bright pink top and my favorite heels. In this meeting, there came a point when I disagreed strongly with my competitor’s intimidating corporate legal counsel.

Previously, I would have probably tried to pull out all the facts, argued, and tried harder to prove my point. And I would likely have ended up feeling defeated. But this time, I confidently “stood my sacred ground.”

I was able to operate from my more feminine qualities of cooperation, communication and sharing to leverage my true power (see John Gerzema and Michael D’Antonio’s book, “The Athena Doctrine.”) I sensed a shift in my body. I relaxed, breathed deeper, lowered my voice, and spoke naturally. I expressed the truth of what I knew, without needing to have all the answers.

In the next few moments, I felt something magical happen. Suddenly, everyone was listening. I knew I had gained instant credibility. People’s minds started to open up to new possibilities, which was exactly what we needed. It is possible (and much more desirable) to own our femininity and power while having an impact on the world. We don’t have to be more like men; we just have to understand how to use our unique qualities to contribute to the conversation.

Do you agree that embracing your femininity is an authentic way to trample stereotypes?

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Business, Lifestyle

What Crossfit taught me about business

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My CrossFit story is about falling in love. I was alone, pursuing work in Atlanta, and struggling to keep up appearances concerning my relationship with fitness. Things with my gym just weren’t working out. I went for jogs every once in a while, but I spent most of my evenings sitting at home, watching “Mad Men.”

Then I saw a billboard for CrossFit Atlanta. I decided to take the leap and pursue this new and enticing relationship. I’m happy to say that five years later, we’re still together.

CrossFit has not only made me healthier inside and out, but it’s also played a significant role in how I approach my work. Here are six business lessons I’ve learned through CrossFit.

Lesson 1: Learn Mechanics First

Even Olympic lifters start out lifting an empty bar to learn proper mechanics. It’s a requirement to develop consistent technique before putting any weight on the bar.

Don’t feel discouraged if you’re stuck in the “mechanics” phase of business. Get excited – this is your springboard to success! Mastering the basics has a lot to do with building your company infrastructure, getting the right people and systems in place, and getting yourself to a point where you’re excited about growth – not overwhelmed.

Lesson 2: Be the Worst

When I started CrossFit, I was the worst person in my gym. Most were seasoned athletes, and I was the slowest and the weakest.

It would have been easy to give in to my fears of what others would think and not show up. But once I embraced being the worst, the pressure was off, and I suddenly had a lot more fun and experienced huge growth!

Business is the same way. You have to start at the bottom, fight off intimidation, and accept where you are.

Lesson 3: The Barbell Gets Lighter

The first time you pick up a barbell, it feels like this insanely heavy piece of equipment that you can’t imagine lifting over your head. But three months later, that bar feels so light that you can hardly remember the days when it felt heavy.

When you’re starting something new, “picking up the barbell” for the first time is scary. When a project is kicking off, it’s hard to get things moving the first week. But as you keep going, the barbell gets lighter. Soon, you don’t remember what was so difficult.

Lesson 4: Set a Timer

In CrossFit, you spend time warming up and developing technique or strength, but the real work gets done when the timer starts for the workout of the day (WOD).

While everyone around you is multitasking at work (and Facebooking), set your timer and get some real work done. Outside of the warm-up (planning and organizing) and the technique (meetings, coordination, and networking), set the “focus time” timer and actually create something. This is what gets you results.

But don’t fly by the seat of your pants. Enter this time with a plan of attack. Just like I set timed goals for each section of my workout, break down your tasks, and watch the clock so you stay on track.

Lesson 5: Do Just One Rep

When things get really hard and you want to quit, it does no good to fret about how far along you are in the workout. All you should think about is the very next rep. Focus on making that one rep as perfect as you can; before you know it, you’re done.

At work, quit fretting about how far along you are – or aren’t – in a given project. Instead, start giving your all to the very next, tiny task – and before you know it, the project will be complete and juicier than you imagined!

Lesson 6: Record Your Progress

If you don’t record progress, it’s like it never happened. CrossFit is designed with certain baseline workouts and lifts that are repeated systematically so you can see where you’re going and how much you’re improving. This is one of the main features that helps people see results through CrossFit versus a typical gym.

If you apply this principle to business, you will be part of the 2 percent of people who see results. Determine specific things you can measure in your business and write them down. It doesn’t have to be on fancy software; it can be in your diary or on a whiteboard. The ability to see where you’re going and look back on how far you’ve come will keep you passionate, motivated, and successful.

Why These Lessons Are Great for Women

At a typical gym, we women usually end up using the elliptical or running ourselves to death, frantically trying to burn calories. Sadly, this hits me as our subtle but collective insecurity: a feeling that we must lose something in order to be better. This attitude can often lead to hating our bodies instead of loving them, and it certainly doesn’t add to our confidence.

CrossFit offers a paradigm shift. We work to gain, rather than to lose. We want to add more weights to the barbell, improve our times, and add muscle to our bodies. As a side effect, you create your best body, skyrocketing your confidence.

CrossFit made such an impact on me that it led me to open my own CrossFit box, but no matter what strategy you choose to achieve health, take these lessons to heart. Instead of focusing on what you have to lose, think about everything you have to gain.

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Business, Lifestyle

Burn out

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(This article was originally posted in BlogHer)

As strong, driven women who are bold enough to step into leadership roles, we work our butts off to succeed. But as time goes by, we often fear that if we pause, we’ll fall asleep at the wheel. Unfortunately, this attitude can cause you to miss out on the opportunity to live a truly incredible life. Rather than running from feelings of burnout, you should follow them.

Burnout Is an Opportunity

When I started my company, I was eager to prove that my ideas could succeed. We grew quickly, but after reaching a certain level of success, the thrill was over. I was exhausted. I hadn’t allowed myself to enjoy the process of growth; more importantly, I wasn’t fueled by a larger vision for my life.

That burnout was exactly what I needed to make a change; I took a step back and pursued other endeavors. In doing so, I gained intense clarity on what I wanted. I’m now living a life that energizes me, rather than one that drags me down, and my first company is still thriving. Without the burnout, I might have settled for a life I didn’t want.

Testing Your Burnout

Before you decide to throw in the towel at work, make sure your burnout isn’t simple fatigue. These three habits can deliver dramatic improvements:

1. Get enough sleep. This is one of the first things we sacrifice to a busy schedule, but a good night’s sleep is vital to clear thinking and sound decision-making.

2. Get enough exercise. I recommend joining a community like CrossFit, where you can connect with people outside work, celebrate goals together, and broaden your horizons.

3. Center yourself before diving in each day. Block out at least 30 minutes to journal, meditate, or connect with your intuition or the divine. This will give you reprieve from the chaos and support you throughout the day.

If you’re doing these things and still feeling burned out, it’s time to delve deeper.

Let Your Feelings of Burnout Guide You

Exercising your thoughts will help you understand what needs to change. Here are four strategies to assess your circumstances.

1. Do Some Deep Thinking

Identify a clear thought, such as, “I’m sick and tired of working my butt off at my job without seeing real results.” Write it down, and examine each part, starting at the end. Explore what results you want to see, write down things you like and dislike about your job (e.g., I like finding solutions, and I dislike working with boring people), and discover what specifically is draining you.

Sit on a thought for a day, week, or month. Take however long you need to zero in on your problems and determine what needs to change.

2. Follow a Powerful Practice

Byron Katie has a powerful body of work called “The Work.” It involves identifying a thought (e.g., my job makes me miserable), and then asking four questions about that thought.

Is this true? (If not, go to question three.)
Can you prove that it’s true?
How do you react when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without that thought?
After you’ve written down your answers, you might see that the stress or anxiety you’re feeling exists only in your mind, or only in the way you frame your thoughts. Once you’ve worked through these four questions in detail, you can do what she calls the “turnaround.” Take the opposite thought (e.g. my job makes me happy) and look for examples of where or how that could be true today.

3. Look for the Good

Cultivate a practice of gratitude. You should already be devoting 30 minutes a day to centering yourself; use some of that time to focus on things you’re thankful for. The more you focus on the good, the more good you will see.

4. Write It Out

I recommend buying a pretty, inspiring journal that’s appealing to you and keeping it with a nice pen in a drawer by your bed. I’ve learned a three-step process for journaling:

1) Release: List any negative or anxious thoughts to release them.

2) Love: Write down five things you currently love in your life.

3) Intend: Write at least one thing you intend to experience today: This could include something simple, like a cup of tea, or a feeling you want to have, like connection with your family.

You can try one or all of these strategies, but take your time. Little shifts make huge differences. If you use them to your advantage, your feelings of burnout will lead to a better life. You can do anything you want; you simply have to decide what you want and go for it.

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