Let me tell you a story: It was 2008 and my company had grown to a $10 million business. I was in desperate need of a COO to lead daily operations. I was running on all cylinders, trying to lead company strategy, manage client relationships, and still have a daily presence in the office. It wasn’t working–I was close to burning out.

I knew that finding a COO who I could trust was the solution. And the first person who came to mind for this role was my dad. As an entrepreneur himself, he had been serving as a mentor to me for years.

But, of course, the last thing I wanted to do was hire my dad. Why? I was afraid. I was afraid that my employees and customers would think that I was asking him to come save the day. I was afraid it would be seen as a sign of weakness. I was afraid my employees would accuse me of nepotism.

I interviewed a number of people, and nobody seemed like a good fit, because no one knew me and my business like my dad. Finally, I decided to go with my gut and offer my dad the job. With a little convincing, he agreed to come out of retirement and accept the role.

He’s now been my COO for six years and has helped me double the size of my company.

What did this experience teach me?

Great leaders aren’t good at everything, but they’re good at knowing what they’re good at. And building the right team is all about knowing what you’re good at, where you need help, and who you need and want to help you.

It’s ok to hire people you like. In fact, it’s essential..Human beings are social creatures, and there’s no shame in wanting to work with people that you have fun with. Most of us will spend more time with the people we work with than our own families! So why not surround yourself with people who are genuinely compatible with you and your business? You should hire people who inspire you, make you laugh. embrace your company values, and share a similar work ethic.

Don’t be afraid to hire like a woman. Many women that I’ve worked with are sometimes hesitant to consider these types of characteristics when they’re hiring, thinking it makes them look frivolous or picky. But this “feminine style” of hiring is actually becoming more mainstream—because it works. We see more and more companies using terms like “culture fit” and “soft skills” and “intangibles” and these are all really things that many female leaders have been focusing on for a long time.

(Like this blog? Sign up for my weekly newsletter to receive exclusive content designed for entrepreneurs like you.)

I was 23 years old, in the midst of negotiating my 2^nd large-sale contract. It was a $5 million government contract that would transform the trajectory of my life and business forever. Yeah, you could say I was nervous. I’d started this company four years earlier (at 19!) with the mentorship of my father, but I still felt like a novice.

Across my desk was the President of the company we were partnering with, let’s call him Bob. We needed Bob because his company was an expert on the awarding agency’s work requirement — in fact his company had been working there for the past 5 years. No one was better qualified than he. But my company—K4 Solutions—was chosen to be the lead contractor, so Bob needed me too.

We were reluctant bedmates.

I knew this contract would quadruple the size of my company. But still I couldn’t fully comprehend the scale and impact — and I definitely didn’t have any experience negotiating contract terms like this. Bob —in his 60s, an industry veteran leading a company close to $50 million in revenue—clearly did.

Before I could settle in, Bob quickly overtook the conversation. He began arguing over a few clauses our lawyers had been going over – first, inconsequential legalese like whether communication via email would be ‘recognized’ by law…was he just trying to intimidate me? But then more critical clauses – like percentage split of work-share and profit share.

Thrown off and aggravated by his tone and by his barrage of requests, I tried to remind myself that I knew what I was doing. I knew exactly what other companies my size had negotiated in situations like this.  He thinks you’re a pushover, I said to myself.

In what I thought was a calm, polite voice, I voiced my truth — “Sorry, we won’t be able to do that.”

His face turned red as he started shouting, “We simply cannot work with you, then, if you are going to operate like this.” He paused, looked around my office, and said, “Where’s your Dad, anyway? Isn’t he here to negotiate with? I don’t know what I’m doing sitting here with you…you must be what, my daughter’s age? 26”?

Twenty-three, actually. And old enough to understand that I was being disrespected.

I looked at him and said, “Ok, I think you’re overreacting here.”

He looked at me, eyes wide, and screamed, “I’M OVERREACTING???!!!”

He threw a stack of papers up in the air, like a pissed off character in a comic strip. I was shocked, but I remained composed as he went on a tirade about how ridiculous my requests were.

I had a few options at this moment. I had my own stack of papers to throw, and I could yell back at him with the same fervor. I could walk out of the room, call my dad, and have him finish the negotiation. Or, I could kill the whole contract.

I summoned the strength to remain seated while he stormed around the room. I’m pretty sure I was sweating and shaking, but when he paused nearly out of breath from his tantrum, I said, “Can we get back to the contract now?” I knew I had no other choice; I was willing to make the best of the situation.

It was as if my calmness had broken a spell. My commitment to moving forward despite his behavior was more powerful than his tantrum. He sat back down and we continued the negotiation.

So, what did his man tantrum (or “mantrum,” as I now affectionately refer to it) teach me?

1. Money spent on a good attorney is always money well spent. That being said…

2. It’s not smart to “leave things to the lawyers.” Instead, I empowered myself to understand the legalese and get behind the logic. And it paid off.

3. Learning through experience is the most immediate (and most fun!) type of learning. Just because I haven’t done something before, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it now, and doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it alone! As an entrepreneur, we’re constantly throwing ourselves into the deep end alone. Get used to it and have fun with it!

4. Having confidence in my own self automatically and naturally gives other people confidence in me. (duh!) You don’t need “secret sauce” to be taken seriously, you just need to take yourself seriously.

5. I’m not always going to work with people I like, though I may try to most of the times. And that’s OK.

6. I am enough. I learned that I had to stop measuring myself against others, and accept that I am good enough, smart enough, capable enough, , successful enough to achieve anything I want to achieve.

And so are you.

The end of the year can be a blur of celebrations, family commitments and tying up projects at work before you take some time off to celebrate the holidays.

But while everyone else is busy wrapping presents and attending ugly sweater parties, you can set your business up for success by considering the following before you launch.

Continue reading on Open Forum.

This is the second installment of my column for Entrepreneur.

Freedom of speech is awarded all Americans, but having the confidence to voice their opinions is another matter — especially for women in the workplace.

This year, the term “bossy” came under fire as prominent women, including Beyoncé and former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, teamed up behind Sheryl Sandberg’s “Ban Bossy” campaign to remove the word from everyday use and promote female leadership.

This movement also points to larger institutional structures that can suppress female voices. Many companies don’t promote open communication, and some executives fail to consider women’s needs, creating a gender gap in boardrooms.

Continue reading on Entrepreneur. 

It’s easy to become frustrated when it seems employees don’t listen. But it falls to the leader to figure out how to get staff fully on board with the company’s plan.

I’m the first to admit I can be impatient or unclear at times. Sometimes what I say to others doesn’t really match what I’m thinking — or what I think I’ve said. I think fast and talk fast, and details can become lost in translation. Recently, I found myself yelling at my phone — with no one on the other end — when I received a question via text about something I thought I’d explained three times before.

Instead of becoming angry, try to discover what went wrong and take these steps to become a better and more respected leader.

Continue reading on Entrepreneur.

I was a featured entrepreneur on IdeaMensch recently.

In this interview, I discuss my role as CEO, tips for high performance, and how I choose to enjoy life as an entrepreneur. I share a few of my favorite things too, including my favorite quote widely attributed to Howard Thurman:

Check out the interview here and let me know what you think.